


Learn to Love

by Dark_Angel_Kaos



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-06-06
Updated: 2011-06-05
Packaged: 2017-10-26 08:22:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/280838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_Angel_Kaos/pseuds/Dark_Angel_Kaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanda Yuu Japan's most famous actor is given the lead role in an upcoming movie. Everything seems fine until he met his costar Allen Walker a newbie nobody with zero acting experience behind his belt. Allen aims to mend what happened between them but Kanda is troubled, not wanting to trust the man who hurt him so badly in the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Learn to Love

Title: Learn to Love

Author: Dark Angel Kaos

Fandom: -Man

Pairings: Allen x Kanda (AreKan), Alma x Lavi, Tyki x Lavi (Lucky), hints of various others

Rating: M

Warnings: language, yaoi, OOCness, OCs, AU, typos, UNBETA'D

Genre: romance, angst

Disclaimer: I seriously don't own!

Summary: Kanda Yuu Japan's most famous actor is given the lead role in an upcoming movie. Everything seems fine until he met his costar Allen Walker a newbie nobody with zero acting experience behind his belt. Allen aims to mend what happened between them but Kanda is troubled, not wanting to trust the man who hurt him so badly in the past.

A/N: Lights, camera, action! Hehehehe so this story popped into my head while I was sleeping…and luckily for it, it was remembered the next day. Lucky indeed because I tend to forget the plots of my dreams…more like I forget the idea completely…anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter~ Happy birthday Kanda Yuu-sama~!

Enjoy!

* * *

Prologue – Love Never Lasts

"Oi moyashi, are you listening to me damn it!" deep russet eyes glared at the youth before him. "You just keep staring at me like a complete moron."

The white haired youth snapped out of whatever daze he was in and focused on the glaring raven before him. A small smile tugged his lips.

"I was mesmerized by your beauty, Yuu," he said with a seductive smile in place.

For that comment he got an open palm to his face. He grinned as he removed the hand, knowing that his lover Yuu Kanda would be blushing a very nice cherry colour. True to that thought the raven's cheeks were flushed.

"Stop talking nonsense," Kanda snapped, trying his best to ignore the blush on his cheeks. "As I was saying, the last performance will be this Saturday and the audition for the next play after that is tomorrow. You should sign up."

The white haired youth shook his head and took a sip of the cup soda that was before him on the table. "Nah, it's not my thing."

"Allen…" Kanda gave a sigh. "Whatever, your lost." He crossed his hands across his chest in a huff. "You'd be one fucking great actor if you took it seriously."

Allen shrugged and finished the last of his drink. "I rather watch you act. Though acting alongside you would be awesome, I'm not pushing it as career. You on the other hand, you were born for the stage. I bet in a couple of years you'd be the best actor in Japan."

Kanda couldn't help that his blush darkened at Allen's praise. He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a couple of newcomers.

"Two years max," one of the voices chimed in. "In two years Yuu and I will be a top hit."

"So cocky," the other person grinned. "But aren't you forgetting about me? I'm the one Yuu would want to partner with."

The only girl that with them giggled softly. "Sorry but I think papa would most likely team up with dad."

Allen and Kanda turned to face the three. "Alma, Lavi, Kuu, what brings you guys here?"

Alma – the spiky haired raven who spoke first – walked over to where Kanda sat and rested his hands on his shoulders.

"Eh? Sounds like we're not wanted here guys," he said as he rocked Kanda slowly from side to side. "The love birds want their privacy back."

"Privacy?" Lavi – the feisty redhead – began in a sing-song voice. He leaned forward to pick at Allen's half eaten fries, snagging a couple and stuffing them in his mouth. "But the canteen is a public place to be used by all!"

The two continued to annoy the hell out of their respective best friends, but Kuu put an end to all that by bonking them on their heads. They instantly grabbed at the bruised area with a whine.

"Thank you Kuu," Allen then looked from Lavi to Alma. "Geez don't you two have anything better to do than to annoy us?"

"Nope!" was the simultaneous answer from both Alma and Lavi.

Allen sighed, resisting the urge to face-palm. "Why don't you two go fuck each other?"

Lavi grinned. "Already did, why'dya think we didn't find you guys earlier?"

"Yeah I can vouch for that," Kuu said, taking a seat beside Kanda. "They had me waiting outside the boy's bathroom for _hours_. Ten minute quickie my ass! I swear those two don't know the meaning of 'coming once.'"

Alma shrugged. "Blame Lavi, he wanted another two rounds."

Lavi shrugged too, taking a seat beside Allen. "Blame hormones."

Kanda couldn't believe the conversation they were having out in the open. He shook his head at his friend's antics. It was something that he was used to.

"So who wants to go see a movie after classes end today?" there was a bright glint in his green eyes that showed that he was really excited.

Alma nodded as he took a seat beside Kuu. "Ah that actor Lavi is crushing on is starring in a movie premiering today."

"Wait you mean Tyki Mykk?"Allen asked. He turned to Lavi with a disbelieving look on his face. "You still haven't gotten over that? Dude it's been years! Don't you have Alma now?"

Lavi and Alma shook their heads at the same time.

"Don't we always tell you," Alma began.

"We're not lovers and we're not dating," Lavi continued. "We're just friends with a whole heap of benefits."

Kuu nodded too. He hands crossed under her ample chest. "Yup, I've always heard them say that. Tons of time too."

Allen shook his head. Sometime he really didn't understand his friends. Alma and Lavi had some mad chemistry so why wouldn't they date?

"Anyway, like I was saying~" the sparkle returned to his emerald depts. "Tyki is the star so I'm sure the movie rocks! The guy is positively perfect! His face and body is so my type! Not to mention his voice, _god_ , he could be reading a grocery list and I'd still cum."

Now Allen realized why they wouldn't date. Lavi was too obsessed with that Tyki Mykk person to see anyone else. The guy was the only person in Lavi's heart.

"Dude chill, you're like a movie stalker," Allen sighed. "You've been to _all_ of the movies he's in, even though you'll buy the DVD when it's out. Not to mention you have recordings of all his performances from when he was a child actor, his interviews and a bunch of other crap that I have _no idea_ where you got them from! You're bordering on crazed stalker you know!"

"Don't you see its love?" Lavi had his hands over his heart with a dazed look on his face that showed he was thinking of Tyki.

Allen blanched. "Hey Alma, fuck him until he can't walk for me."

Alma chuckled, shaking his head slightly at what Allen said.

"I don't think it would stop Lavi-nii's obsession though," Kuu added with grin. "So are we going to go see Lavi-nii's obsession? I'm in if it's a good movie."

"I don't mind," Kanda said, agreeing with Kuu.

Allen shrugged. "Since Yuu and Kuu are in the count me in too," he reached down to finish his fries only to touch an empty box. The chewing beside him alerted him of the culprit and a vein throbbed in his forehead. "Hey Lavi, you heard that? We're all coming with you to watch the movie of the love of your life who barely knows you exist." There was a high dosage of sarcasm in his voice.

Lavi just smiled, swallowing the last of Allen's fries. "Sweet," he reached for the cup soda, but was a bit annoyed that it was empty. "Yo Allen, you'll be buying the snacks since ya held out on me."

The vein got bigger and Allen turned to face Alma. "You know what; make it so that he can't get out of bed."

Alma and Kuu broke out in a giggling fit.

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Allen tried to ignore the overactive redhead but it was proving to be very hard. They had just finished watching the movie 'The Devil Within' staring Tyki Mykk and a new star debuting Road Kamelot. If it wasn't bad enough that Lavi was going on and on about Tyki, Kuu was just as eager about that girl Road Kamelot. She was stricken by her character and eagerly wanted to befriend the spiky haired girl. Even more since the two were the same age.

"Lavi-nii! Lavi-nii! Did you notice? Road's eyes are similar to Tyki's. You think they're related?" Kuu asked, her bright ink eyes glistening.

"Lavi nodded, sharing her excitement. "I think so, their eye colour and skin tone seem hereditary."

Allen scoffed at what Lavi said. "Contacts and make up, that's all there is to it."

"That could be the case but to me it looks more natural than fake," Alma said quickly in order to prevent a bloodbath as the look on Kuu and Lavi's faces were murderous.

Kanda applauded his best friend to his quick thinking. If he didn't made his little input Allen would have been a stain on the concrete by now.

"So where to now guys?" Lavi asked as they turned in the direction of the parking lot."I'm up for anything."

"Hey, don't we have a project due for 20th century acting?"Alma voice as they neared Lavi's jeep. "That counts for forty percent of our final grade?"

Lavi looked thoughtful as he unlocked his car. "Yeah, something like that I think. It's due next week right?"

"Tomorrow," Kanda said as he opened the side door. "And there are no extensions."

"Yuu you're done already huh?" Alma asked, not the least bit surprised that Kanda was done with his assignment. He tended to always have them done ahead of time.

"No shit Yuu's done," Lavi said with a pout. Once everyone was in he started the vehicle. "I bet it'll be another 'perfect grade' work. As expected of our Yuu." He shifted the gear to drive and pulled out of the parking lot. "I'm gonna have to bust my ass to finish that by tomorrow. Crap and here I thought I'd be partying all night."

"Unless you want to fail," Alma chimed from beside him in the passenger seat. "I'm almost done with mine. Just need to reread, edit where it needs it and print. All that can be done tonight."

"Yay you," Lavi's voice was laced with sarcasm. "So I'm gonna just drop you guys home and take Alma here hostage. I'm way behind on my project so I'd love some help." He looked through the rearview mirror spotting Kanda. "Would love Yuu's help too but I'm thinking Allen has plans."

The smirk on Allen's face confirmed what Lavi thought.

"Aw, papa and dad gonna do something perverted~" Kuu sing-songed from Kanda's left. She grinned and opened her mouth to add to her comment when he phone ran. With a cheery smile still in place she answered. "Sup? Say what now? Ok but why? Seriously? No fucking way! Alright I'm gonna head over right away!" she hung up, visually fuming.

"What's the matter Kuu?" Allen asked, worried as Kuu never usually lose her temper.

"Damn it! I have to head over to Miru's," Kuu replied, still fuming. "Our bitch of a Fashion Tech teacher refused our draft and now we have to do it over from scratch!"

"Harsh," Lavi commented. "I guess I'll let you off at his place first then."

True to his word, Lavi dropped Kuu at her friend's and then he left Allen and Kanda at the latter's apartment.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow, granted that this project doesn't kill me," Lavi slumped against the wheel as Alma waved to the two. "Man I so envy you guys now."

Allen chuckled. "If you had finished your paper on time, you'd be free to do what ever you want tonight."

Lavi blew raspberries at Allen then drove off. He had a lot of work to complete and so little time. Fuck, he really hated University.

"So…" Allen began. A sensual smirk tugged his lips and he licked them. "What shall we do to occupy our time?"

The suggestive tone he used had Goosebumps crawling over Kanda's skin. He matched Allen's smirk with one of his own. "I can think of a couple of things." The lust in his eyes was easy to spot.

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Kanda stirred and he snuggled closer to the warmth that enveloped him. He felt protected and safe. Of everything he regretted in his twenty-one years of life, he never once regretted his choice to stay with Allen. Sure that choice got him kicked out of his house when he was nineteen because his parents found out he was gay but that didn't matter anymore. Allen made him happy and he made everyday worth living. He rested his head on Allen's chest and breathed in his scent, listening to the steady beats of his heart.

"I love you, Allen…"

"I love you too Yuu," Allen replied. A bright smile tugged his lips when he saw that up to Kanda's neck burned red.

"You're…awake?" Kanda could feel the blood rushing across his cheeks to his neck and ears.

Allen hummed an 'hm-mm' and sat up when Kanda turned away from him. The sheet slid from his body, revealing his bare chest. He rested his hand in Kanda's long raven hair, combing through the loose strands with his fingers. Kanda seemed to relax at the treatment but the dark blush was still there.

"'You get embarrassed easily don't you Yuu?" he continued as he stroke Kanda's hair. "Hard to believe you're the same person when you're on stage."

Kanda's blush faded a bit and he pouted. "That's why it's called acting."

Allen smiled. "Yeah, but I love the real Yuu rather than the one that puts on a fake face."

"My facial expressions are not fake," Kanda's mutter was muffled by the pillow he hid his face in.

Allen chuckled lightly. "Your acting is flawless," he corrected himself. "But I love seeing the expressions you don't show to anyone but me. You can never hide your true feelings from me."

That was true; Kanda could never hide anything from Allen. They had met only four years ago at the University when they were first years, but it was still shocking how easily Allen could read Kanda. It was as if they've known each other all their lives.

"I wonder why that is," Kanda whispered. He sat up, revealing his naked torso, which was littered with numerous love bites. "I guess it's because it's you." He rested his right palm on the area over Allen's heart. "Because it's you why I can be myself." Cobalt eyes slid shut and he rested his head on Allen's shoulder. "Don't…don't ever leave me."

Allen pulled him into a fierce hug, hoping to quell whatever insecurities he had about them. He would never leave Kanda, not now not ever.

"I will never leave you Yuu," he murmured against his ears in a comforting voice. "I love you way too much to hurt you like that. I'll always be here for you. I promise."

Kanda allowed himself to believe every word Allen said.

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The next day Lavi canto school looking like a zombie and Alma was no different with the huge bags under his eye. It seemed the two pulled an all nighter to get Lavi's neglected project done.

"The hell guys, you two look like shit!" Allen voiced with his wrapped around Kanda's shoulder. They were now in the lounge on the east wing of the school, sitting in one of the empty couches. "Damn how much work did you guys have to do?"

Alma glared at the brightness that surrounded him as if the gesture would make the light dimmer. "Lavi didn't start crap! I had to help him up from scratch!" He plopped down in the armchair to Kanda's right. "Over five months worth of research and data compiling done in less than twelve hours. Do you have _any_ _idea_ of how _freaking_ tired I am?"

Allen would have made a comment about that but the murderous look Alma gave him made him keep his mouth shut.

"Lavi sure worked you hard," Kanda pulled away from Allen and reached out to Alma. He rested his hand on his head, patting it lightly. "Maybe I should have helped you two after all."

Alma's eyes sparkled. "Yuu…"

"But it was Lavi's fault to begin with," Kanda continued with a huff. "And he's not even conscious now to deal with consequences."

They turned to Lavi who was out cold and drooling in the couch to Allen's left. There was a small smile on his face as he muttered Tyki's name in his sleep.

"Well, he seems like someone who's without a care in world," Allen commented airily, while he poked Lavi on his fore arm.

Alma was too tired to get mad at Lavi and decided if he can't kick his ass now, might as well join him. He soon fell asleep, resting his head on the arm of the chair, thinking that when he got up he'd screw Lavi hard for working him just as hard.

"I wonder if Kuu is faring any better," Kanda voiced out loud. He was wondering why he hadn't seen the pink haired freshmen as of yet.

"Hopefully better than how Lavi and Alma are," Allen added with a hum.

Little did they know, Kuu and her project partner were _very_ close to planning to murder their Fashion Tech teacher. They had finished recreating their evening wear design from scratch, even picking out the 'suitable' materials and accessories that the old bat recommended. Everything had taken up a couple of hours but it took less time than if it was only one of them working on it.

The even managed to get in a measly four hours of sleep as both of them had a class at eight. Luckily they did or else in their sleepless haze they would have already committed murder.

When they went to give in the new draft their teacher had the audacity to look confused. Miru explained to her that she had sent him an email and even showed her said mail on his purple Iphone. At that she replied:

"Oh, my mistake, I sent it to the wrong group."

Kuu's eyes had twitched so badly that Miru swore they would fall out and then when their teacher left she had let out along string of profanities, which would have made sailors blush.

So after a few hours at lunch time Allen and Kanda didn't see Kuu overly tired but completely and utterly pissed.

Allen gulped as he took a seat before his irate pseudo-daughter. She looked ready to off anyone who _dared_ to irritate her more. Kanda though didn't look on high alert as Allen did. He took the seat beside Kuu with a calm look on his face.

"Did something happen?"

At Kanda's innocent inquiry Kuu immediately went into high gear, ranting on and on about the unfairness of the world. She went into how her Fashion Tech teacher was a screw loose with a vendetta against her. Also how the old bat definitely had it out for her because she was a better designer than her.

Kanda nodded his head to everything she said and when she was finally out of gas her rested his hand on her head, doing exactly what he did for Alma earlier.

"Feel better now that that's off your chest?"

Kuu gave a small smile and nodded her head. "Thanks papa. I needed that," the tenseness left her body and Kanda removed his hand. "I won't let her get to me," she said in a calmer tone. "I'll finish this project and hopefully I won't have her for junior year."

Allen smiled to himself as he watched the two interact. Kanda was a pretty good parental figure for the orphaned girl. He listened to her troubles and consoled her as a parent would. His smile widened when Kuu's frown disappeared completely, leaving a bright smile in place. Kanda wore a smaller smile but his was just as bright and radiant. Looking at both of them gave him a warm feeling inside. _'I'm so glad I met these two.'_

Kanda noticed Allen's stares and turned to face him. "Hey what's with that creepy smile?"

"Ah dad looks really creepy!" Kuu chuckled, her bad mood no where to be seen. Speaking of being now where in sight she noticed that two people were missing. "Eh? Where's Lavi-nii and Alma-nii?" She looked around not seeing the two.

"They're in the infirmary resting," Allen replied, disregarding the 'creepy' comment. "Lavi's project killed them."

An understanding look crossed Kuu's face. "Oh it was that bad?"

"You don't know the half of it," Kanda replied with a sigh.

"Well since those two will be out of commission today how about we have some well needed family time?" Allen offered with a grin. "It hasn't been just the three of us in while."

The two seemed to like that idea, but Kuu being the rebellious daughter that she was, hid her real feelings with a pout.

"I'm not a kid. Family outings are embarrassing," but even as she said that there was a noticeable smile on her face. "But I guess once in a while is alright."

Allen smiled and Kanda shook his head at her stubbornness. It was cute.

"So where are we going?" Kuu couldn't hide the giddiness from her voice. Then when she realized how excited she sounded, a light blush dusted her cheeks. "Not that I'm eager or anything…"

Allen couldn't help but chuckle. "We'll go anywhere you want."

3 AK 3 AK 3 AK 3 AK 3 AK 3

The days slipped by so quickly and before Allen noticed, it was Saturday. He was getting ready to leave out. Today was the play Kanda would be staring in and he wanted to reach early. Kuu would be there early too but would have to leave for her part time job. Lavi and Alma would already be there as they too were apart of the play.

He hurried and got dressed in a loose gray jeans and a button up black shirt. He then took up his wallet and stuffed it in his back pocket and made his way to the front door. Just as he was about to pull the door open it was suddenly forcefully pushed open.

"What the–" he was startled at the sudden move.

"Allen!" the man at the door gave a relieved sigh. "Thank god I caught you before you left."

"Eh? Mana?" Allen looked at his father confused. "What's going on?" For some reason Mana looked panicked.

Mana slammed the door shut, looking suspiciously out the peephole to see if he was being followed. "There's no time, pack now, we need to go!"

Gray eyes blinked in confusion. "What the hell?"

No time Allen, we have to go _now_!" Mana pushed past him and headed upstairs to his room to grab what ever he deemed as important.

Allen contemplated just leaving but he had never seen Mana _that_ panicked before. So instead of leaving like wanted, he ran up to hear what the hell was going on from Mana. When he reached upstairs he saw Mana stuffing random stuff in a pulley suitcase. _'The fuck? This is serious.'_

"Mana what the fuck is going on?" he needed to know.

"Allen why aren't you packing?" Mana scolded, not bothering to look at Allen who was loosing his patience as the seconds ticked by.

"I'm not doing shit until you tell me what the fuck is going on!" Allen yelled at the top of his lungs. Mana was being an asshole, why the hell couldn't he just tell him?

With a sigh Mana paused in his packing. He sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. "Our lives are in danger."

That caused Allen to do a double-take. "What?"

"My fuck-up of a brother screwed around with the wrong crowd," Mana said through gritted teeth. "He borrowed cash a Mafia owned loan shark and haven't paid back a dime. If that wasn't bad enough he did the same to a Yakuza in the area, using me as a guarantor. The asshole ran off to god knows where, laving me to take care of his shit."

Allen could only blink, not quite grasping how utterly _fucked up_ their situation was. "Wait one god damn minute, you're not kidding?"

Mana gave Allen a serious look. "This is no fun and games Allen. These guys are serious. If they don't get their money we're dead. We have to run."

The seriousness of the situation finally registered in Allen's mind but he still couldn't believe it. "We have…to run?" he repeated in a low tone.

"Yes now hurry up and pack," Mana went back to his own packing. "Who knows how long we have till they find this place."

Allen couldn't grasp it. They had to leave…he had to leave but he couldn't, Kanda was here, his fucking life was here!

"I'm sorry, but I can't go with you Mana," Allen had his head down and his eyes were closed. _'I can't leave Yuu…'_

"Allen!" Stop taking rubbish!" You'll die if you stay here!" Mana tried to reason with his foolhardy son. "They know me and they know your face. If you stay you'll only be putting your friends in danger!"

Allen still had his eyes closed and he slammed his fists against the open door. "I know that!" he yelled, gritting his teeth. "I know…but I can't just leave without telling Yuu…it'd destroy him. I promised him Mana…I promised him that I'd never leave him."

"I didn't want to make you do this Allen, but I have no choice in the matter," Mana ran his hands through his thick white hair. "You can't tell anyone, not even Yuu-kun. It'll be disastrous if anyone found out where we're going."

"But Yuu wouldn't–"

"I know he wouldn't tell anyone, but do you think he'd just let you face this danger on your own?" similar gray eyes bore into his own. "He'll want to go with you. That kid loves you too much to let you leave. He would sacrifice his future for you in a heartbeat. Do you want him to do that? To throw away everything just to be with you?"

There was a short bout of silence and Allen closed his eyes. "No," he answered, finally. "I don't want to ruin his life…I don't want to put the one I love in danger…"

"Then you know what you must do." _'I'm sorry for making you do something so hard. Please forgive me.'_

Allen turned and left Mana's room, heading down to his own. His head was down and tears streaked down his cheeks in torrents

3 AK 3 AK 3 AK 3 AK 3 AK 3

Kanda couldn't help making his eyes roam the crowd every five minutes to see if Allen had arrived yet. He saw Kuu in the crowd but no sign of Allen; even though he said he'd be there over an hour ago. _'Where are you?'_ He tried to focus on the play as it was his big moment, even his special person wasn't there he had to put on a good performance.

Deep gray eyes locked on the raven haired performer. They watched every move Kanda made with intense longing and regret in their depts. _'I'm sorry Yuu. Please forgive me for doing this…'_ He placed a bouquet mixed with a combination of Primrose, Arbutus, Forget-me-not and a single Yellow Rose and Rue on the table at the back and exited the building with a heavy heart.

3 AK 3 AK 3 AK 3 AK 3 AK 3

"Yuu, it's time to leave," Alma called from back stage.

Kanda turned his gaze from the empty room to his friends who were waiting on him. "Yeah, coming."

"That's so mean, dad didn't show up," Kuu said with a pout. "He promised he'd be here too. Hmmm maybe something came up?"

"He'd call if that was the case," Lavi added. He took out his smart phone seeing no messages or missed call from Allen. "He normally would."

"Yeah he would," Kanda said as he walked up to the group.

Lavi didn't know if Kanda was pissed or depressed with the way he acted like it was no big deal. He couldn't read him at all. And by the similar skeptical yet confused look on Alma's face he couldn't fully read him either.

"Ah man!" Kuu glanced at her watch with a frown. "I'll have to give dad an earful tomorrow. I'm late for my shift." She hurried over to Kanda and hugged him. When she released him she handed the bouquet she found addressed to him on the back table. "Papa, make sure to punish dad for not showing up k?"

Kanda nodded his head with a slight smile. Kuu gave a smile of her own and then left, waving goodbye to them. When she left Kanda couldn't help but feel anxiety creeping up into his system. It chilled his very bone, making him feel that something was up.

"Yuu?" Alma rested his hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine," Kanda replied. He glanced down at his watch seeing that it was only a few minutes after seven. "You know, I'll just stay here for a few. I think Allen might show up. He told me he would so…"

Alma nodded in understanding. Kanda wanted to be alone for now. "Sure, Lavi and I will just leave then. Call me later ok?"

"Yeah," Kanda watched as the two of them left. He hugged the bouquet that held a combination of flowers that declared love to him, knowing that it was sent by Allen. He noticed the single Yellow Rose along with the Rue and came to the conclusion that the bouquet was sent as an apology. Allen had done it before so he figured it was the same this time. He took out the Rose, careful not to prick his fingers.

"You better have a damn good excuse when you finally show up."

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It was minutes after two before Kuu could leave the convenience store she worked part time at. She yarned, feeling completely drained. _'Thank god I don't have classes tomorrow.'_ The only thing on her mind was the warm bed that was waiting on her at her shared apartment. _'Tizu should be asleep now.'_ A creepy smiled crossed his lips as she thought of molesting the girl in her sleep. That thought died in her mind as she came up to the play house. Someone was standing in front of the building holding a bouquet of flowers. _'No way…is that?'_

"Papa?" she called out. When she got closer she saw that it was indeed Kanda.

Kanda slowly raised his head to look at her. His eyes were dead and void of any emotions. "…Kuu."

Kuu hurried to his side and grabbed his hand, surprised at how cold it was. "So cold…" she murmured softly. _'How long was papa out here for? Where's dad?'_ "Why are you out here so late?"

"He said he would show up," was all Kanda said. "I believed him."

The hurt was evident in his cobalt eyes and Kuu couldn't help but feel the pain he was going through. She hugged his cold body to hers, hoping to share her warmth. _'What the hell is dad thinking?'_

"Did you call him?"she asked softly.

"No reply…"

Kanda had thought that it was weird that he didn't pick up but he told himself to believe in the words Allen told him. Allen said he would show up and he would let his hope linger on that promise. Even if he couldn't reach Allen he just knew in his heart that he would show up, but he was wrong. Allen didn't show up, no matter how long he waited.

"The rose…" he muttered, realizing that it said it all. It and the Rue. The message both sent made his already broken heart shattered to pieces. In the language of the flowers Rue meant regret and a Yellow rose meant infidelity, extreme betrayal… a broken heart. _'Is this his way of breaking up with me?'_ Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and the fell, cascading down his cheeks on after the other.

"Papa?" Kuu looked up in question, surprised to see him crying. "Papa…lets go home…"

Kanda dropped the bouquet and allowed Kuu to pull him along. His tears continued to slide down his cheeks. _'You lied Allen.'_

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Flowers and their meaning:

Primrose – Eternal Love

Arbutus – You're the only one I love

Forget-me-not – True Love

Rue – Regret

Yellow Rose – Friendship, jealousy, infidelity, or apology, a broken heart, intense emotion, dying love, extreme betrayal

A/N: heya~! Yes again with another ongoing story…to think I haven't learnt my lesson yet…le sigh. I'm trying my hand in a full blown romance this time…ok maybe it seems more angst but I just can't write without it! Well as we can see Kanda has no idea why Allen left and has jumped to conclusions taking the negative meaning of the Yellow Rose rather than the most obvious meaning. Allen used the Yellow Rose to say that he was sorry and used the Rue to say that he regretted leaving. But Kanda took it as Allen regretted being with him (Rue) and that he had betrayed him by cheating, thus leaving him with a broken heart (Yellow Rose). Sad how things turned out huh? Well stick around and see how things will turn out okies~! R&R my lovely reviewers~!

Next Chapter: Reopening Old Wounds

Ja na

Kaos


	2. Learn to Love Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I. Don't. Own…sadly…

Disclaimer: I. Don't. Own…sadly…

Warnings: language,

A/N: Thank you guys who reviewed~! I hope you enjoy this chapter~!

Enjoy!

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Chapter 1 – Reopening Old Wounds

The raven haired samurai gave a smirk before he launched forward, making a clean slash with his Katana 'Mugen.' His opponent, a ball shaped monster called an 'Akuma' froze in mid-attack and then promptly exploded. The explosion wasn't overly done or flashy and in a way it complemented the stance of the fierce samurai. He looked around, seeing more of the Akuma creatures and smiled. His smile was a mixture of smugness with a hint of beastly glee and it made almost every woman in the theater squeal in delight.

"Kyaa! Klaust is so cool!" one girl voiced out loud only to be shushed by the irate audience.

"Not bad exorcist," Klaust's opponent smirked, his fierce golden eyes locking on his prey. "You're pretty good."

Klaust gave the man a smirk of his own. "What about you?"

In an instant he disappeared, reappearing behind the gray toned man. He raised his sword and brought it down, but at the last minute his opponent dodged.

"Nice dodge Zaki!" someone from the crowd yelled out but that earned him a harsh 'shut up' from the people around him.

The two men on the screen, Klaust and Zaki, continued their fight. They traded vicious blows that left their mark on the earth. Neither seemed scathed and the fight could have gone either way but that soon changed when Zaki reached out after blocking Klaust's sword. He managed to pierce his hand through Klaust's chest.

Klaust coughed up blood as Zaki's hand ventured deeper into his chest, making a double sided gap in his body. In the audience a young man with striking white hair gripped his seat in anxiety. He knew it was just really good acting but it pained him whenever his precious raven got hurt. Others though gasped in horror at the detailed gory scene. They thought it was over for the hero of the movie but the smirk that tugged said hero's bloodied lips proved them wrong.

Klaust held on to the appendage that pierced him through and pulled it from his chest. Before Zaki could react, he slashed forward with his Mugen. Zaki staggered from the attack and pulled his hand away, managing to jump back in time to avoid another fatal blow. Blood trickled down his chin and he regarded the man before him with bloodshot eyes. Klaust held the wound on his chest and shifted his weight to his legs. His knees bucked but he caught himself before he could fall face forward.

"You're a better match than I thought," Zaki was gravely wounded but he would survive. "No normal human would still be alive with a hole in their chest."

Klaust grinned maliciously. "I guess I'm not 'normal' huh?" he stood his ground, not making a move. _'Damn it, I'm losing too much blood…'_ The wound was more serious than he initially thought but even so his face showed no hint of discomfort. His expression was proud and burned with determination.

"I see," Zaki replied, a smirk played his bloodied lips. "So you must be a second huh? Absolutely perfect." His eyes seemed to dance with madness. "I'll commend you for entertaining me, exorcist." He stepped back and a dark portal seemed to open automatically. Out of it came an abundance of Akuma. They seem to cover the dark sky, casting their shadows on the earth. "Lets play again some other time, if you survive that is." His smirk widened and he disappeared through the portal, leaving Klaust to deal with his Akuma minions.

Any normal person would be scared out of their wits to be fighting so many enemies, but Klaust's grin just widened. He beckoned the monsters with his index finger. A cocky look on his face.

"Bring it."

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"That movie was freaking awesome!"

"No shit dude! And that scene where Klaust continued to fight even though his wounds were bad was completely sick! I swore to god the guy was gonna die but then his comrades found him. Man it was so cool!"

"Yeah, but they should make a part two though," another added. "I can't believe it ended with Zaki's twin betraying the Earl. No one saw that coming but they still needed to explain more about the second exorcist Klaust. He remained a mystery up till the end."

"Yeah so true."

Gray eyes watched the persons who just exited the theater with interest. He listened as they offered praises upon praise to the movie they had just watched. 'Curse Disciples' had one of the most interesting plot line out of any supernatural movie released so far. It outshone every other movie in the box office, selling over twenty two billion in just one week of its release.

"The lead was so adorable! Even when he was covered in blood. It just made him look even hotter!"

"Yeah that guy who played Klaust Fetcher was seriously cool."

The girl who spoke first gave the guy who spoke second a punch on his upper arm. "It's not 'that guy' his name is Kanda Yuu-sama!" She scolded. "Get it right or don't say it at all!"

"Jeez, you don't have to be such a fangirl," he muttered under his breath. Luckily the girl didn't hear him or she would have given him an earful.

An amused looked crossed the guy's face and he smiled but that smile was short lived. When he remembered how he had to abandon the one he loved, his mood dropped. _'Even though it's been four years…and not a day goes by that I don't think about you,'_ his gray depths darkened with unshed tears. All he felt now was regret and intense longing. _'I miss you so much Yuu, but you're so far away from me now…how can I ever hope to get you back?'_

It has been four years.

For four years he had to be in hiding because of something his screw-up bastard of an uncle did. He had to quit University in his senior year and skip town, not only leaving his old life behind but the one person that meant more to him than life itself. The years that went by were unbearable. The only thing that helped him to survive was the thought of seeing his Yuu again.

He had followed the raven haired actor from his debut in that drama 'Rivaling Tides' and up to when he got his first role in that movie 'Death's Door.' The role was a big step up and had him co-staring with Tyki Mykk of all people! He had done great for himself since then and had even earned himself the title of 'best actor' in Japan, taking most of the spotlight from Tyki Mykk.

"Damn dude, you here again?" that surprised drawl could only be one person. "Didn't you watch this movie yesterday?"

"Hello Alex."

Alex gave the man a skeptical look. "Either you got money to waste or you _really_ love that movie."

A shrug was his reply. "I just really love the lead actor."

Alex nodded his head in understanding. "A crazed stalker I see," he ran his hand through his thick raven hair and shook his head in disbelief, thinking that it was always the normal looking ones who were the craziest. "Well let me not come between your romance then, Allen. I gotta get back to my shift, so later."

"Yeah," Allen waved goodbye to the part-time usher and exited the theater, leading to the lobby. He gave the promo-poster at the entrance a longing glance, focusing on the long haired raven dressed in a black and red uniform. _'Yuu, I want to see you so badly…'_

"Oi brat, are you just going to ignore me like that?"

Allen turned immediately to the voice, seeing a burly redhead whose outfit – though plain yet stylish – seemed to cost more than his rented apartment. The redhead wore a pair of dark sunglasses and a cowboy hat as if he was trying to hide his identity, but Allen knew who he was with them on.

"…what do you want, Cros–"

"Shush brat, do you want to cause a riot?" he redhead scolded. He reached out and grabbed Allen's collar, pulling him towards his dark red car. Once they were safely inside the vehicle, he released his hold on Allen's collar. "Why'd you think I'm in disguise?"

"Damn it Cross I couldn't breathe!" Allen wheezed out. He coughed a bit before focusing on the handsome redhead. Deep emerald eyes bore into his own, and he flinched at the scrutiny. Sometimes Cross reminded him so much of his best friend Lavi. "What?"

"Nothing, just wondering how you're making your life pass right before your eyes like that," Cross replied with a shrug. "Anyway I got you an audition for a part in an upcoming movie."

Allen got up intending to leave. "Thanks but no thanks Cross. I'm not an actor."

"Could have fooled me," Cross muttered under his breath. "Damn brat do you have any idea how many people would kill to be in your shoes?" he snarled. Allen looked at him blankly and he sighed. He placed his sunglasses back over his eyes. "Just think about it. Here's the info on the auditions. It's a week from now and shooting will start in the following week. If you decide to do the auditions and you make it leave everything to me." He glanced at his watch and then let out a low growl. "Shit, I'm late. Get out brat, and call me when you decide."

With a sigh Allen took the folder and got out of Cross's car. Once he was out, it sped off, blowing up a heap of smoke in his face. He coughed from the exhaust then looked at the folder in his hands. The folder had the title 'Under the Darkness' printed on it, seeming to be the name of the movie. It was the script for the character 'Aren White.'

' _I'll probably add this to the number of scripts I have at home,'_ he thought with a sigh. Despite what cross want to say, he wasn't the 'actor' type. Though he had some talents in the area, he didn't feel driven to embrace it. _'I'll grab some dinner along the way.'_

With that thought in mind he made hi8s way down the street towards the convenience store.

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Allen sat in front of his regular his regular sized television, snacking on a bento. The script Cross gave him was on the ground before him, still sealed in its packet as he ate. His gray eyes were locked on the television but they weren't really focusing on what was playing. He reached for the remote and changed the channel to an entertainment news station.

"Why does Cross want me to act so badly?" he mused to himself. It wasn't as if he wanted to make it a career like the man wanted him to. Beside he was doing fine at the firm he worked at and didn't want to leave…yet. "He's just being his regular pushy self. I don't what Mana saw in him."

His father used to date Cross and that was how they met four years ago. Cross is a well known actor and a producer/manager on the side. He claimed to have a good eye for talent and wanted to work his magic on Allen. Too bad Allen wanted none of it.

He took up the script and then tossed it in the pile on the couch. "I don't think I'll do it…" he then grabbed up the remote, intending on changing the channel. Just as he was about to press the up button, the lady on the screen said a name that froze his fingers in place. Instead of changing the channel he turned it up.

"–to watch out for," the blonde lady continued with a giggle. "Black Order Productions has announced their latest project for the year. This time they're straying from their regular supernatural theme and going into something more suspense and mystery driven. The movie is called "Under the Darkness" and it is promised to be a must watch. Shooting for this movie will begin in two weeks even though it id schedule for release next fall. Such a tight deadline huh?" she shuffled the papers on the desk before her. "I'm guessing you all are eager to know some of the starts who will be featured in that movie, ne? Well there is no doubt that Yuu Kanda-san will star it, and if Kanda-san will be doing that movie I'm sure Tyki Mykk-san will be too. The new faces on the scene Alma Karma-san and Lavi Bookman-san will also have a role to play. Along with the ruggedly handsome Cross Marian who I hear is planning on introducing his secret student to the world. Ooh such a mystery~! They are the only ones confirmed for now but I'm told the final auditions will be a week from now…"

Allen looked at the television in shock. _'Yuu will be in that movie too?'_ He quickly grabbed up his cellphone from the coffee table behind him, speed dialing Cross's number. Meanwhile he searched the pile on the couch for the folder he tossed their earlier.

"You saw the entertainment news didn't you?" was all Cross said when he answered the phone.

"Hm-mm," Allen replied with a smile. "I guess I'll audition after all."

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"Today is the press conference to announce the cast for 'Under the Darkness' aren't you interested in seeing who you'll be working with?" emerald green glanced anxiously yo the person beside him.

The years had matured them both. Lavi had his once spiky re hair tamed. It no longer stood out in odd angles like it used to. His face had regained some of his boyish features, giving him a mature yet playful appearance. Kanda was a beauty. His raven hair had gotten longer, reaching below his butt and it was always tied in a ponytail at the base of his neck. Otherwise he seemed to remain the same except for his expressions. They were never genuine. After that day when his heart was ripped to shreds his smile seemed to have disappeared forever.

"Tch, don't care," Kanda replied in a bored tone. "When is Alma getting back?"

Lavi sighed, seeing that he wouldn't be getting a comment out of the raven. "His flight is at 12."

"Kanda-san, Bookman-san, please come this way. The press conference is starting," one of the set managers came up to them. He looked around not spotting the short hired raven that was usually around the two "Where is Karma-san?"

"He's on his way back from Germany so he'll be a bit late," Lavi replied with a smile. He grabbed Kanda's hand in his. "Let's hurry~" he pulled Kanda along, following the set manager towards the stage.

Kanda shrugged as he allowed him self to be pulled along. They followed the guy to where the broadcast would be recorded. The room was adequately decorated with various stage equipments and at the center was a small set with four long couches.

"Looks like we're the first ones here," Lavi voiced as he led Kanda towards one of the empty couches. Before they could make it over he gave a sudden yelp. Someone had their hand on his ass. He turned to glare at the man, who somehow always pops up where ever he was. "Tyki…"

Tyki smiled. His golden eyes lit up in mirth. "So love, when are you finally going to give in to my advances?"

Lavi scowled. Four years ago he would have melted just to hear Tyki say that to him, heck even two years ago he'd probably pass out but now that he knew what kind of personality the brunet had he ignored him. His personality turned his off completely, making all the love he had for the man crash and burn.

It all happened that day when he won the contest to meet Tyki Mykk in person. He entered the contest so many times that it was nearly _impossible_ for them to draw a post card that didn't have his name on it. So when he won he was _completely_ ecstatic. He bought a new outfit to wear and spent extra to make sure his appearance was flawless. Then when the day came for him to meet his one true love he almost died of a heart attack, but he played it cool as he didn't want to seem like a stalker, even though he was.

"This way Lavi-kun," the director had showed him where he would meet the star and he was practically hyperventilating on spot. "He should be…" the director's voice trailed off as he entered the room and his face was as red as Lavi's fiery mane. "Tyki!"

The brunette haired man looked up with a smirk on his face. He was sitting on a chair with two males and a female on their knees before him, apparently sucking him off.

"Eh?" his golden eyes seemed to brighten when they landed on the redhead beside the director. "So who's the hot ass beside you? Is he my new toy?" he got up, pushing back the eager lips and walked over to the two. His cock was in his hand as he jerked off, not seeming to care that people were watching him. He backed Lavi against the door, trapping him with his body. "First things first, I want to see how good you are with your mouth. So get on your knees and suck me off."

The director looked scandalized at Tyki's behavior. Lavi however felt as if a bucket of cold water had been dumped on him. He couldn't believe the man before him was the same one he adored and loved all these years. The man was nothing like he thought he would be. That was when he realized that he was in love with the characters Tyki played and the person he was before a camera. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks and instead of getting down of his knees like the slut Tyki thought of him as, he pushed away from Tyki's hold, making sure not to let any of his jazz hit him.

"Suck you off?" Lavi glared at the man and then raised his fist. "Suck this!" he punched Tyki right in the face.

Tyki fell back on the ground completely speechless. He couldn't believe someone had turned him down. The director was no different.

"Lavi-kun!" the director was in a flurry. He didn't know whether to pat Lavi on the back for what he did or to get security to throw him out for hitting Tyki. No matter how much of an asshole Tyki was, he was responsible for him. Luckily Lavi made the choice for him.

"I can't believe I wasted my life time liking a pervert like you!" he turned his nose up in disgust when Tyki spilled his seeds over his hands. _'The guy is a fucking masochist!'_ His gaze landed on the director. "Out of my way. I'm going home."

He left and since then his outlook on Tyki utterly changed. Of course he still adored the characters Tyki played, but other than that he couldn't stand the pervert. Hence why he avoided him when he could, but now that he joined the show business it became increasingly hard to avoid him. Plus it seemed as if he had somehow nabbed the pervert's interest.

"Fuck off you perv," Lavi swatted the hand off his ass.

A smirk crossed Tyki's kissable lips. "Such a dirty mouth you have, I like it," he leaned closer, whispering in his ear. "I'm hard just thinking how good it will feel with that mouth on my cock."

Lavi face palmed. He really couldn't deal with the guy. How the hell was he attracted to the pervert in the first place?

Luckily he was saved from his torment as the set manager asked them to take their places. Lavi quickly grabbed Kanda's hand and pulled him along to escape Tyki's presence. Kanda allowed Lavi to pull him along. They took a seat on one of the couches. Lavi sat at the end with Kanda to his right so that no one – namely Tyki – could sit beside him. If Alma was there with them now he would have sat between him and Kanda.

Tyki shrugged, taking a seat opposite to their couch. He found it rather interesting and cute how Lavi was avoiding him, but that wouldn't get him down as he knew, sooner or later, that he _would_ get Lavi in his bed.

The rest of the cast started to file in minutes later. These were the cast of characters who would play a major role. The minor characters would be announced later down the day.

Kanda looked around to see who were gathered. He saw the twins Jasdero and Debitto sitting beside Road Kamelot – who was the daughter of the assistant director and the granddaughter of the director – they seemed to be engaged in a deep conversation. Lenalee Lee – the producer's younger sister – was there also, trying to coax a conversation out of the shy Miranda Lotto. Lastly was a guy called Wisely who was currently talking to Tyki and by the way their lecherous looks trailed over to him and Lavi, he'd guess what ever they were talking about wasn't fit to be heard by the public.

"Ne Yuu, Cross and the guy who's co-starring with you isn't here yet I wonder why," Lavi mused. He scratched his chin in thought. "Who's co-starring with you again? I though it would be Tyki but I heard he asked for a different role."

Kanda shrugged, naming to not care. "Don't know, don't care."

Lavi sighed at Kanda's lack of enthusiasm. Not that he expected any better from the raven. "You'll be working with him for the next few months so you should." A blank look was his only reply. "Yuu–"

"We're about to begin," the announcer began. He took his seat and looked around, taking in who were present. "Three people are missing but we'll start without them."

Everyone quieted down and got themselves ready for the camera. Each had on a professional look, which came natural to them, considering they were stars.

Lights flashed across the stage and the opening music echoed around the set. The announcer cleared his throat and opened the show. He introduced himself as Chaoji Han and then went into the specifics as in introducing the stars and their roles.

"In this production 'Under the Darkness' it focuses around a young detective who aims to solve the rise of female kidnapping and murder plaguing the country. Various challenges await the young detective and it even leads him to go undercover at a brothel," he paused to hear the crowd's reaction. "Black Order production has officially released the list for their cast and today I'll be introducing the main characters. First off, playing detective Yu Kana is Japan's biggest sensation Yuu Kanda!"

The lights focused on Kanda who had a small smirk on his face. His appearance screamed of confidence. He was a star that commanded all attention and that was what he got. Chaoji continued introducing those who were present to the audience and the roles they would be playing.

Lavi was cast as Deke Luce a mix breed detective who came to Japan on an assignment to assist his partner Aren White. Tyki's character was Superintendent Neah Joyde the chief commander who gave Deke and Aren their assignment. Miranda and Lenalee would be playing as Marin and Luna, who girls who would befriend the disguised detective Yu in the brothel. Road was cast as Rhode the mysterious girl who would assist Yu in his case. Wisely would be playing Weizbub, a whacko of a forensic doctor who assisted the detectives. And lastly the twins Jasdero and Debitto would be playing Javie and Davie, two boys who always seem to be on the scene of the crimes.

There were three other main character roles, Aren White who was the other star. His character was a detective from England who came to investigate the drug trade and a specific gang. The other was Alan Kuso who would be Yu's partner and lastly Cross, the head of a Yakuza and owner of the brothel Yu would investigate.

Kanda and Lavi knew Alma would be playing the role of Alan and that Cross would be playing his namesake but they were still in the dark as to who would be playing Aren White. No one told them who it was other than it was a newbie with no acting experience what so ever who got the role. When Kanda heard that he scoffed. He knew how hard stars had to work to get a big role like that but for someone who didn't know crap and got a star role was just plain bull shit. That person must have been pretty talented or pretty damn lucky, but Kanda swore if that newbie made at least one mistake he'd get him cut from the whole production.

There was a murmur of excited whispers that got everyone's attention. They turned to the entrance, seeing Cross who was dressed elegantly in a suede black tuxedo.

"It seems Cross Marian has decided to make an entrance," Chaoji began in an excited tone. "Ah his protégé is also with his,"

Behind Cross Allen was nervous as hell. His heart was beating frantically in his chest and his palms were soaked with sweat. He wasn't that nervous when he did the auditions but knew why he was now. Kanda was just a few seconds away. He couldn't keep the excitement, the relief, the joy, the want, which threatened to tear his body apart. But he would try and quell it as he wanted to face Kanda with a cool and leveled head.

Kanda focused on looking elsewhere, thus showing he wasn't interested in the two arrivees. He didn't care who the guy was. Lavi however was a bit interested to see who would star with Kanda. He looked over to the two who just arrived and his green eyes widened. To say he was shocked was an understatement. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"…no way…" he didn't know what to think. There were so much emotions running through his mind at the same time. He was glad to see his best friend again after four years of not hearing from him. There was a feeling of relief to know that he was alive and well but there was also anger. He was still angry at him – _pissed off_ – that he left Kanda the way he did, hurting him that badly.

Kanda noticed how Lavi looked surprised and was confused as to why. He was about to turn and see what he was looking at but the name Chaoji said had him frozen in his tracks.

"Let me introduce the co-star in 'Under the Darkness' who will be playing the role of Aren White, Allen Walker! This young lad aced the auditions on his first try! But I guess such is expected of Cross's secret pupil."

Kanda's brain seemed to cease working. He sat frozen on spot, not hearing or seeing anything around him. Emotions flickered across his eyes at a fast pace but his face remained blank. His heart thrummed in his chest as he tried to come to grips with the face that the man who threw him away all those years ago was right in front of him. A shadow hovered over him and he flinched.

"Long time no see."

Allen's voice was just like he remembered: silky smooth and a bit deep. It was melodious and it made his body shiver. He turned to face the man. When he looked up at his face tears formed at the corners of his eyes.

"…A-Allen..." the words were barely a whisper.

Allen smiled softly. "I missed you, Yuu."

When he heard his given name passed those lips he snapped back to awareness. The memories of the pain he endured came flooding back. He remembered how devastated and destroyed he was after Allen left him. How he practically couldn't eat or sleep for the first few weeks after Allen left. He remembered being a total wreck for over a year, not caring about himself anymore. And he remembered the times he broke down crying his heart out and trying to quell the pain in his heart by using any means necessary. All that and more Allen subjected him to and now he was back? He could feel his blood boiling and the anger burning through his veins.

He got up and before his mind could catch up to his body, he had already given Allen a resounding slap across his face. The set was dead quiet, not expecting that out burst from the raven. Flashes soon erupted from various cameras, each wanting to catch the scoop. Kanda's right palm stung badly but that pain was nothing compared to what he endured four years ago. Pure hate and anger flared in his russet depths.

"Don't you dare call me by that name," he snarled.

Allen held his bruised cheek. His head was down and his hair hooded his eyes. "I guess I deserve that huh?"

Instead of replying, Kanda walked off. He couldn't bear being beside him any longer. It made his heart clench painfully in his chest.

"Yuu wait!" Lavi quickly got up to chase after the raven but before he left he turned to glare at Allen. "Why the hell are you back?"

Allen still had his head down. "To make things right…"

Lavi grabbed him by the collar. "Shut up! You think you coming back would solve everything? Eh? You lost the right to see him the minute you took off!" his grip tightened but Allen didn't resist. "Why don't you do us all a favor and go back to where ever the hell it is you disappeared to!" He pushed Allen back and hurried to find where Kanda escaped to.

As soon as Lavi left the cameras were on Allen. The reporters and the paparazzi were taking pictures and inquiring about his relationship with Kanda. Cross managed to get Allen out of the fray and the media security managed to confiscate the films as per Black Order Production's request.

Cross pulled Allen away from the crowd. "Well, that was entertaining." There was a smirk on his face.

Allen didn't reply. His heart was in turmoil, knowing that Kanda hated him. Of course he would hate him, considering what he did. _'Is it too late…?'_ He knew it wouldn't be easy but he wouldn't give up. _'I can't give up.'_ He shook his head to rid any doubts he might have. There was no way he could give up. Kanda was the love of his life. He came there to get Kanda back and that was what he would do regardless of the current circumstances. If Kanda had forgotten about what they had he would remind him and try his best to erase the past four years where he had hurt him badly. He would do his best to make it up to him. No matter how long it took, he would make Kanda fall for him once more.

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A/N: aww the tension~! I just love it =] well I had this written down for a while now, but I'm glad I finally finished typing it! Wow, work is getting really hectic as of late…but luckily I still have a few hours to type~ so I'm good! R&R k huns~!

Next Chapter: Haunting Past

Ja na

Kaos


	3. Learn to Love Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own!

Disclaimer: I don't own!

Warnings: language, mentions of drugs and alcohol abuse,

A/N: sorry if this took too long, I have no net at home and they banned the use on internet at work…sadly

Enjoy!

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Chapter 2 – Haunting Past

" _Allen…come back…please…just come back to me…"_

Kanda closed his eyes to rid the pitiful voice – his voice – from his mind. It was pathetic how one guy could make him break down so much. But it was a given, Allen had meant the world to him. Allen was his life and back then and he wasn't able to survive without him. Suddenly his eyes snapped open. How could he even think that? He _had_ survived when he left and he would continue to do so without him.

"I don't need him," he murmured to himself in the dark. "I'll be fine."

The door was suddenly pulled roughly and the sound Lavi's worried voice rushed in.

"Yuu! Yuu are you in here?" he walked in and turned on the lights. When he saw Kanda lying down on the couch he visibly calmed down. "Yuu…"

Kanda sat up, squinting as the bright light assaulted his vision. "Didn't I tell you not to call me by that name, baka usagi."

Lavi's eyes dulled when he saw how panicked Kanda looked. He walked over to him and wrapped his arms around his body. "It's okay," he doubt Kanda knew how helpless he looked right now. Kanda had always wore a mask to hide his emotion but right now his mask was no where to be seen. The raw emotions he felt were on his face for all to see. "Alma, Kuu and I will always be here for you. So don't make that face. It'll be alright."

Instead of pushing Lavi back like he would have normally done, he leaned into the embrace. He couldn't believe that Allen still had so much of an effect on him but he would let it be the last time. There was no way he would allow Allen to make him break down like this again. So when the tears streamed down his cheeks he promised himself that it would be the last time he cried because of that bastard.

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He was _pissed_.

How could he not be? When the first thing he heard after stepping in on the set was that that bastard Allen Walker was back. He didn't even go to see Yuu, Lavi or Kuu yet, all that was on his mind was to sock that fucking Walker one in his face and maybe beat him to a bloody pulp. The asshole deserved it after what he did to his best friend.

His cobalt eyes burned with rage as he stalked down the hallways, heading in the direction he was told Allen should be. No one dared approached him, as they seemed to somehow sense the rage radiating off him in waves. He turned the corner almost running into a beautiful young lady with her long flowing pink hair caught in an upward ponytail. She immediately sidestepped him to avoid a collision but he still ended up hitting her shoulder, causing the fabrics she was carrying to fall out of her hands.

"Watch it asshole!" she yelled angrily. Her bright pink eyes burned with irritation, knowing that she had to sort out the fabrics once more. But when she saw who it was she calmed down a bit. "Alma-nii."

Alma seemed to calm down a bit when he saw her. He stooped down to help her take up the things he accidentally knocked out of her hands. "Ah Kuu…sorry I was in a hurry."

She nodded in understanding. "I see you've heard."

If the murderous look on Alma's face was any indication. He handed Kuu the fabrics and got to his feet.

"I don't want that asshole anywhere near Yuu," he said through gritted teeth.

Kuu's eyes dulled. She didn't know what to say. It wasn't as if she didn't feel some sort of hatred for what her dad did to them, especially her papa. He was _devastated_ after Allen suddenly disappeared. But Allen was still the one who helped to make her who she was today. If it wasn't for him and Kanda she would have still been on the streets, ditching school and getting high off drugs. She was only fourteen when she began taking drugs, smoking and doing whatever it was that a normal girl her age wouldn't do. Her real parents hadn't care about her and she did what she did to get their attention. It didn't work though. They only avoided her more. Allen was her mentor back then and he had helped her to get back on the right track. He along with Kanda spent every day with her, helping her to get over her addiction and problems. They were more like parents to her than her real parents ever were, which was why she took to calling them her fathers.

But even if Allen had abandoned them she still didn't believe that he did it without a reason. There must have been a reason why he did what he did four years ago, leaving them without so much of a goodbye. She was sure everyone thought so too but they were too wrapped up in his betrayal to consider what the reason might have been. Because she knew, her dad loved her papa more than anything and wouldn't do anything to hurt him, if he couldn't help it. So until she heard the reason she would give him the benefit of the doubt.

"I know how you feel Alma-nii but…" she closed her eyes unable to finish her sentence. If she did then she would probably make Alma angrier. She sighed, opening her eyes. "If that's what papa wants too then…"

Kuu had her head down and Alma walked over to her, resting his hand on her shoulder. "I know this will be hard but…" his voice trailed off when he raised his head. He let go of Kuu's should and ran forward in a rush.

"Alma-nii?" Kuu was surprised when Alma didn't finish his sentence and even more when he suddenly ran off. She raised her head to see what was up and was shocked to see that Alma was storming towards two men. Her heart pounded away in her chest when she saw that familiar tuff of white hair. _'Dad…'_

Allen looked up and before he could recognize that it was Alma who was rushing towards him, he got thrown back from a direct punch to his left cheek. He landed on the ground with a thud, tasting copper in his mouth.

"You bastard," Alma glared down at the white haired male. "How dare you come back here after what you've done?"

"Alma…" Allen wiped the blood that trickled down his cheek. His lip was cut and also the inside of his mouth. Alma didn't hold back. "I wanted to see Yuu."

Alma was seeing red and when he mentioned the name of his best friend, he felt as if he was about to lose it. He stalked forward, ready to render the white haired male to a bloody pulp but Kuu held on to him. She hooked her arms around his middle, stopping him in his tracks. The fabrics she held were tossed haphazardly on the ground.

"Alma-nii, please stop it!" Kuu pleaded. She didn't want them to fight. "Please!"

If it was anyone other than Kuu, Alma would have just shrugged them off and advanced on Allen but he allowed himself to calm down in her arms. He knew how much Allen meant to Kuu and he didn't want to rough him up in front of her.

"Sorry Kuu, I kinda lost it," his eyes dulled when he felt that the arms around him were trembling slightly. He was sure this was due to his presence so he turned and glared down at him. "Why don't you just disappear now like you did then eh? Just do us a favor and do that. Yuu's suffered enough already!"

Allen knew this was true but what about him? He regretted leaving Kanda more than anything and he was shattered by the choice he made too. Didn't they see that? He was also hurting from the choice he made. But he didn't have any choice, it was either he disappeared or else they would have been in danger.

"Don't you think I'm hurting too?" he asked Alma in a low voice. His determined gray eyes bore into the other's enraged ones. "It pained me to leave Yuu the way I did."

"Then why did you?" Alma yelled. He was trying so hard to control himself but it was proving harder by the second. "Why did you just upped and left Yuu when he was so vulnerable? He was a complete wreck after you ditched him!"

"I had no choice!" Allen yelled, getting up. "It wasn't my choice to leave…I _had_ to."

Alma wanted to punch the guy again and again until he could no longer recognize that bastard's fucking face but Kuu was holding him back. He knew why Allen had to leave and it pissed him off more to hear the excuse from his lips. Allen wasn't the only one who disappeared without a trace that time. Nanako Takaguchi also went missing. She majored in the same area as Allen and had a crush on him so big that it bordered on crazy stalker. He heard that she got pregnant and ran off with her baby's father aka Allen. When Kanda heard that it destroyed him more. He gave up on ever loving anyone and slept around like a whore to forget his pain. That was the main reason why he despised Allen now. He hated him for stringing Kanda along while he was seeing that bitch.

"Like I would believe that," he rolled his eyes, turning away from him. "I don't care about your damn excuses." He turned back to glare at Allen. His eyes were dark and murderous. "If you ever go near to Yuu again, I'll personally make you regret it."

"What's going on here?"

Kuu looked back seeing two security guards coming towards them. _'If they get involved things could get bad…'_ She pulled back from Alma and turned to address them.

"Ah nothing much~" she gave them a bright smile. "I accidentally dropped the fabrics I was carrying. Do you mind helping me pick them up?" Her voice was sugary sweet. "They're pretty heavy for me to carry."

The guards instantly fell for her charm. "Oh sure!" they yelled, heading over to pick up everything that was on the ground.

"Thank you~!" Kuu's smile brightened. "Do you mind taking those to the second prep room for me?"

They needed no more persuasion. In an instant they ran off, heading towards the room Kuu mentioned. Kuu waved at them, offering her thanks then she turned to Alma.

"Alma-nii, we need to go," she urged. "Let's go see papa and Lavi-nii."

Alma wanted to protest but he followed what Kuu said. He really needed to see his best friends right now. With one last glare at Allen he turned and left. Kuu followed after him but stopped when Allen called out to her. She composed her face into a mask of indifference and faced him.

"Please excuse us Walker-san, but we have somewhere we need to be right now," she said in a clipped tone. "Cross-san will give you the schedule for you to come in for your measurements, so until then, good bye."

She left without so much of a look back. Even though her heart ached for her to do something like that to a person she once looked up to as her parent. So when she turned away she wasn't surprised that she was crying. It wasn't as if she hated Allen like the others claim to. At least she hoped they didn't. She just didn't understand why. Why would he do something so cruel to them when he said that he loved them? That was what she didn't understand. Was everything he said to them a lie or was there some deeper meaning behind what he did?

' _I'm sorry…dad,'_ she quickly wiped the tears from her face. It wouldn't do her any good to be emotional now. They had a job to do and for the movie to become a success they had to work together. She just hoped everyone else would put the issue behind them and work together. But she doubt that would happen.

Allen couldn't deny that he was hurt. When he watched the retreating backs of Kuu and Alma – a girl he considered as his daughter and his good friend – he could help but feel a stabbing pain in his heart. They hated him.

"Why did this have to happen?" he gritted his teeth so hard his jaw ached. How could he once have the sweet taste of happiness one minute only to have it yanked from his lips the next? It wasn't fair. He sighed, turning back towards the private room reserved for him and Cross. It would have been better if he'd never shown up at all.

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"Shooting starts next week and already you're a bloody mess," Cross took a drag from the cigarette between his lips. "What happened? Got in a fight?"

"Shut up Cross," Allen replied walking right past him. He plopped down on the couch, turning so that his back was to Cross. "They hate me."

Cross snorted. "Of course they hate you," he took one final puff and crushed the but in the ashtray on the table. "You ditched them."

" _I had no choice_!" Allen all but screamed out. He was sitting up now, his eyes blazing. "If it wasn't for that bastard I'd still be with them!" He rested his head in his hands. "It's all his fucking fault."

"Yeah I know," Cross pulled out another cigarette, slipping it between his lips. He then reached into his coat pocket, taking out his lighter. "Mana went through hell trying to keep you two alive." He lighted his cigarette, taking a puff. "Even though Mana and I aren't dating anymore I'd still kill that fucker he calls a brother the minute I see him. To think he'd do that to his own brother and nephew."

He sympathized with Allen. The fates weren't kind to him at all.

"How am I gonna fix this?" Allen's muffled voice asked. "They hate me now."

"Is that going to stop you?" Cross asked, lightly exhaling the smoke from his system. "Are you going to give up because they hate you for a misunderstanding?"

Allen raised his head, looking at Cross. "I don't know what to do." He sighed.

"Just do what you can," Cross got up, walking towards Allen. Without warning he flicked Allen's forehead. "Stop being so fucking whiny." Allen groaned and he turned his back to him. "Don't get me wrong brat. I'm only doing this to get your mental state in order. If you're too half dead to act then that will make me look bad. So get your shit together!"

True, that was one of the reasons why Cross was helping him. But another was because it was a favour from his ex. Two years ago after the trouble with the Mafia and Yakuza subsided, Allen was rearing to go back home. But During that short span of time, Kanda had become a star and was already out of his reach. There was no way someone like Allen could be able to meet with Kanda without looking like a crazy stalker. So he was content to watching him from afar. No matter how much it hurt doing so.

Mana had asked him to help Allen get a chance to meet Kanda and that was what he did. He tried to get the idiot to go into the showbiz but Allen had turned him down saying that he didn't want to get famous. To Allen, if he did a movie and got famous from it then Kanda would think he left him to get rich, which wasn't the case. So his only condition for acting in a movie for Cross was that Kanda would have to be in it, but that in itself was a pretty hard deal to come by. Kanda and Cross worked with two different agencies and a movie that would feature both wasn't frequent. It was out of sheer luck that Cross managed to nab a partnership with Black Order production for this movie.

"You're my student so don't screw up my reputation," he continued in an annoyed tone.

"Whatever," Allen rolled his eyes. He couldn't back talk the guy. Since it was because of him that he had this once in a lifetime chance to make it better between him and his friends, especially with Kanda. He couldn't screw up this time. If it meant he had to start over from the beginning with them then he'd risk that. But he swore to himself. Before the shooting for the movie was over, he would have Kanda as his once more.

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Kuu poked her head inside the room. Her eyes brightened when she saw Kanda and Lavi sitting on the couch. She ran inside, pulling Alma along.

"Papa, Lavi-nii," she called out running inside. "Alma-nii is back."

Kanda had his head down but Lavi looked up smiling. "Hey man, how was Germany?"

Alma smiled back, even thought he was still a bit pissed from his meeting with Allen. "It was fun." He walked over to Kanda, sensing the difference in his persona. "Yuu, did you–" his voice trailed off when he saw that Kanda's eyes were red and bloodshot. He was about to say something but Kanda interrupted him.

"I'm fine," Kanda replied. His voice was a bit hoarse.

Kuu eyes dulled. "Papa…"

Kanda wiped at his face. "Really I'm fine," he got up. "I wish you'd stop treating me like I'm some sort of a ticking time bomb damn it! The asshole's back, so what? I don't care."

No one believed him. By the way his jaws clenched and the pain that reflected in his eyes, it was a tell sign that he did. He never forgot about Allen no matter what he tried to let on. Alma and Lavi knew and they didn't like that. They wanted Kanda to forget him. The guy had hurt him in the worst way. He abandoned him for some stalker girl.

"Yuu, don't be pulled in," Alma said with a deep sigh. "He's a lair."

Kuu wanted to protest but he mouth wouldn't open. Did she believe that too? That Allen was a lair?

Kanda was quiet but then he got up. "I'm heading back."

"Then we're coming with you," Alma said immediately. "We're not leaving you alone."

Lavi and Kuu nodded in agreement to what Alma said. They didn't want to leave Kanda by himself, fearing the worse would happen. Kanda wasn't weak but he still was a bit unstable when it came to Allen.

"I'll join you guys after I'm done here," Kuu said with a small smile. She was the assistant designer assigned to the movie, which was a big feat for a recent university graduate. "It won't take long."

"Alright," Lavi replied, joining Kanda's side. "We'll stop by the Lotus Café and wait for you there."

"Un~!" Kuu waved, heading out the door.

"Shall we go?" Lavi turned to Kanda who just rolled his eyes.

"I'm fine by myself," Kanda replied annoyed. He hated the fact that they were treating him like he was fragile. "I'm not–"

"Yes we know Yuu. You're not fragile," Alma replied softly. He hooked his hand in his while Lavi hooked his hand on Kanda's other side. "But we want to be with you now because we care about you."

"We love you Yuu," Lavi added.

" _I love you, Yuu."_

Kanda closed his eyes to rid the voice. It was a lie. Those words were just lies. But why was his heart so desperately hanging on to their meaning?

"You guys are impossible," he upped for saying. "It's no wonder you don't have lovers."

Alma and Lavi made a fake appalled look, going on and on about their lack of need for a lover. Kanda found himself chuckling at what they said and soon after he was shaking his head at their apparent stupidity. He allowed himself to smile slightly, forgetting that his heart was in complete turmoil over the return of his ex-lover.

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A/N: wow, did they get their stories mixed up or what? So they believe Allen ran off with some girl, which is so _far_ from the truth. Looks like it will definitely take a while to get that misunderstanding worked out. It would be easier if Allen could just talk to Kanda one on one but it seems to me that Alma and Lavi would do anything in their power to prevent that. Ah~ I bet you guys can't wait to see what happens next huh? And you know what? Me too~! Next chapter will begin the start of shooting for Under the Darkness. So till then my lovely readers~!

Next Chapter: Cluster of Stars

Ja na

Kaos


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